Bondage and restraint is a common fantasy for many people. Some prefer the struggle and potential for escape, others enjoy feeling of capturing and holding another person in captivity. Rope bondage can be used as utilitarian restraint used for further play, or as an end unto itself with complex patterns and forms, designed to beautifully captivate a willing participant.
Becoming an expert in bondage techniques takes experience. You're not going to get from here to "there" in one easy step, but you will get there with practice, information, experience, and the right equipment. Starting out is merely getting the fundamental tools and starting where you are. You'll hear me say time and time again that you don't have to do anything with great expense or "whole hog." It's best to start out small and slow. You'll have lots of time later for big investments and marathon bondage sessions.
We're going start off with a good pair of scissors. Ideally you'll get the kind used to remove bandages after surgery. They have dull ends so that the skin is safe while you cut your bottom loose. You'll probably have to make a quick stop at a pharmacy to get these. I mention scissors first because in all this bondage stuff, as in all SM, safety comes first. Never tie someone up without a pair of good scissors nearby in case of an emergency.
Neurochemicals and behavior tend to be circular. That is, a change in behavior induces changes in neurochemistry, and vice versa. We can cause the brain to release oxytocin through caring touch, especially stroking, and selfless giving or nurturing each other, as a parent would a child. This isn't about sex, but sex can be included in the process, and oxytocin can be released during sex, assuming you have a relationship that allows for those feelings to be present. One night stands with strangers are an example of where oxytocin is not likely to occur during sex. This is because oxytocin is more about intimacy than the lust of sex. This is why sex with someone you care about is so much better. The more you give, the more you receive in return, and the better you both feel as your oxytocin levels rise in union.
In a BDSM scene, the big sensation is about the oxytocin mixed with adrenalin and of course, the dopamine hits. A scene with someone that you know for a long time is much better than a scene with someone you barely know. The dopamine hit associated with a "new conquest" is there of course, but the oxytocin effect is minimal. This is why many in the BDSM community rarely play with someone they don't feel a connection with.
Read more following the articles: Neurochemicals in the Play Time to Hard Direct Pain Bottom goes deeper into subspace The Top takes the bottom to its limits
Hot Wax should be no hotter than 120-125 degrees Fahrenheit (49-51 Celsius), to avoid burns, heat rash and even blistering.
HIGH TEMPERATURE WAX BURNS!
Try a soy wax at a low temperature melting point, or the cheapest cheap candles from the dollar store. Additives are put into candle wax to harden them, or to add scent and color. Cheap soft white candles tend to be the lowest melt temperature wax, because of the lack of additives, such as stearic acid, but other issues may also arise. Consider the submissive's known allergies to scent and oils in scented candles. One candle that we enjoy using is the big jar type holy' candles sold at groceries and drug stores.
POOLING HOT WAX AND YOUR INTIMATE PARTS
A drop or two of hot wax on a submissive's back is totally different than a molten pool of wax gushing down the cleft of their bottom and gathering into a painful, blistered pool on their anus.
WAX AND HAIR MAKE-UP FOR PAIN PLAY YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE PLANNED
Body hair can be somewhat protected from wax, and cleanup made easier, by coating the hairs with baby oil or mineral oil before wax play begins. Of course, if pain play is part of your scene, you can 'pull' the wax off with a flea and tick comb (the kind with very fine, very small teeth); scrape it off with a knife blade or even better, an old credit card. Some people like to peel each piece of wax off bit by bit. It takes some time, but you lover appreciates the time you spend on them. Some seasoned hot wax players flog the wax off or cane it off, as part of their scene!
If wax gets on your carpet use a brown paper bag and an iron to clean it out of the carpet fibers. Do NOT wash wax off in the shower, it will mess up the plumbing.
SHOUTING “FIRE” IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR SCENE IS NOT EROTIC
As always, think 'safety'. Keep burning candles and flames away from any flammable materials. Never leave any flame unattended, not even when you finish the hot wax play scene and are lying together lost in erotic bliss!
So, think through your own wax play scene, discuss it between partners, plan for every foreseeable event in your hot wax play scene, and most importantly - ENJOY the warm, sensuous hot wax adventure. Stay safe and play smart, and you can enjoy many erotic adventures with your partner!
Read more following the article: Aftercare after Hot Wax Play
The Lisbon Fetish Weekend 2013 will present on May 31st|22h30 @Fábrica Braço de Prata, Lisbon (Portugal), the 5 award winners of the Fetisch Film Festival 2012. Fetisch Film Festival (FFF) is considered the best set of awards given annually for excellence in erotic fetishes and BDSM on film.
Watch the Lisbon Fetish Weekend 2013 Promo
The 5 award winners of the Fetisch Film Festival 2012 were:
JUMPCUT (8 min) Best short Film
DA KINK IN MY LAiR (18 min) Best Actress in a short Film: Yulia Petrauskas
THE CHAUFFEUR (24 min) Best Actor in a short Film: Johnny Kostrey
MISS D (18 min) Best Trans-performance in a short Film: Scott Speiser
MY DAY WITH TARNA (40 min) Best documentary
ALL FILMS ARE IN ENGLISH OR WITH SUBTITLES. FREE ENTRANCE.
The fantasies of a woman: scary and romantic.
Directed & Produced by Saskia Quax (Amesterdam, NL)
With Dutch Dame & Bob RopeMarks
Website: http://saskiaquax.nl/ (in Dutch)
“Jumpcut let you partake in a playful way to the sexual fantasies of a young woman. Sexuality is very personal and has no fixed frame. Everyone experiences sexuality always in his own unique style. Do you see the common thread: the love ” Saskia Quax
With Jumpcut Saskia Quax show us another, wonderful work was presented in the festival program. For her thesis studies in Audiovisual design, they had dealt with the subject of sexual fantasies. It was important for her to come on the subject as close as possible, without resorting to explicit pictures but it must.
They did, I think, the most impressive and accomplished with an extremely atmospheric balance of image and sound created a short film that charms and equally sensual touches.
The interplay between the mystical scene in which the young woman, as the chosen one, encircled by a dozen men in smokings, with their hands tied to the humiliating exhaustion skipping needs and sensual bondage session with the rigger pull the viewer magic in the sexual fantasies of the young woman inside.
DA KINK IN MY LAiR (18 min) Best Actress in a short Film: Yulia Petrauskas
Mockumentary about professional dominatrix Severija. It’s a one-woman-show with Yulia Petrauskas from Toronto in front and behind the camera.
This movie begins with the first shot a little earlier in the life of the Domination, namely in the bedroom. Mistress Severija (Yulia Petrauskas) is awakened by the camera and the lively East European is also quick to the point. Say, your mouth is probably the first thing that is really growing. We look to her as her make-up and experience a creative act. With its lively, slightly overdone way she has something sympathetic, but also a weird and unpredictable side.
The area in which the education of the young slave takes place is a large, empty hall or studio. While she firmly binds her slave to a radiator she gives an interview in the candlelight. Not without getting up in between to go to the sub whining and pull him with the whip strict one. The scenery changes between amusing, titillating, very consistent and unpredictable, you do not know whether laugh or whether one goes better than this odd film wondering just should.
"Da Kink in My Lair" Yulia managed a funny satire on the everyday life of a mistress, though the visual design so not equivalent to the classical ideas. With good actor's performance, simple styles and simple technique is to have succeeded produced a credible and entertaining, so-called mockumentary.
THE CHAUFFEUR (24 min) Best Actor in a short Film: Johnny Kostrey
An actress accidentally meets a driver who has some strange desires…
Audrey, a young French actress trying to make it in Hollywood, meets Tony, the chauffeur of a luxury car. She needs him to drive her around town and he is looking for a “boss” to drive him. At first, feeling ill at ease, Audrey doesn’t want to mistreat him. But as she suffers one humiliation after another in her career, she discovers that this little game allows her to vent her frustration on him… They complete each other in what begins as a fair exchange and becomes much more than that.
So the story unfolds episode continues to episode and Audrey and Tony play little by little the whole repertoire of sadomasochistic fantasies, repeatedly contrasted with the tough reality of the film City of Los Angeles, by becoming in a playful and increasingly familiar way. Maude Ferrari succeed with this short film the feat far show on clichés such as whips, collars and black leather, the beginning of a loving albeit unusual relationship. For Audrey is a roller coaster through the feelings for Tony well. The fulfillment of a long cherished dream, and for viewers in a credible and understandable introduction to a world of unusual fantasies and desires Here by the way are some of the questions touched on the discussion around this theme again and again: Who is here actually "the boss" and who seduced whom is a devout man at the end of the dream or the nightmare of a woman. Or the question whether the abuse of power as in everyday structures ever happen again, because not a much bigger problem than if a couple decides by consensus for a slightly unusual roles in their relationship.
MISS D (18 min) Best Trans-performance in a short Film: Scott Speiser
New Year’s Eve for a Crossdresser in New York.
Director: Stefan Blomquist (Stockholm/New York).
Website: http://stefanblomquist.net/
The story is set in the glam-punk era of the 90's and is about the crossdresser Miss D (Scott Speiser).
Miss D sneaks after a living by night hangover back at sunrise in his studio in Chinatown. Once there, he hears only times the answering machine in order to get a rough picture of the night back. On the responder, he hears the voice of his ex-love Gina (Zuzana Stivínová), triggering unrest and frightens him. At the same moment the bell rings at the door and his Chinese neighbor and landlady parked out front. He has worked with the eccentric landlady Mrs. Ling (Lori Tan Chinn) an agreement, he paid the rent in hashish and then the two sat comfortably in the empty bathtub, which is located in the small studio and rotate a joint. Ms. Ling warns against the selfish behavior of the ex-lover, when the phone rings. Gina is in town and wants to see D. D goes to the agreed meeting and must make a difficult decision. Either for the continuation of the troubled, painful relationship with Gina or a clean slate and an uncertain future in terms of his relationship with life.
With its eighteen years of experience she has to have something to say and this makes a direct, unaffected and sincere manner. She says what she thinks, speaks of what the situation is, in a profession, the benefits of the many secrets behind closed doors. Precisely this willingness of Lady Tarna produced one hand, a credible but also sympathetic effect on the audience.
The director and cinematographer Chris Caliman does not distract with additional music, a voice-over, or if a dramaturgical. Just this freewheeling reinforces the personal statements of Lady Tarna. This gives her the room. The specific practices taking place with her and explain something to their social background to their own individual way.
So it goes in a topic about dealing with bodily waste. Since childhood, urination and defecation is done behind closed. If talking about is not possible, it is not understood and to playing with it certainly will not do.
Lady Tarna explained with direct words from their own experiences and those with Urophilen (sexual preference for urine) and Koprophilien (sexual preference for dung) it receives in her house. A theme that I saw in such a way never explained filmed in a documentary so understandable.
Lust is primarily driven by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen. Lustful attraction is heavily influenced by pheromones (sexually stimulating smells) we send to one another, and is driven by a group of neuro-transmitters called monoamines that includes dopamine (no surprise here), norepinephrine (aka adrenalin), and serotonin. Norepinephrine and serotonin excite us, while dopamine makes us feel happy. These neurochemicals are controlled by a substance which is also found in chocolate and in strawberries, called PEA or phenylethylamine. It is PEA which controls the transition from attraction to love and attachment.
This brings us to the neurochemical, oxytocin, aka the "love hormone". This is an interesting neurochemical with many functions. One of the most significant is its ability to bond us with each other when it is released in the limbic system. Oxytocin is behind deep love, parent/child bonds, friendships, even love we feel for our pets. In fact, we could not fall in love without it. Oxytocin is not about lust though. It is behind the selfless desire to nurture and be close to others. Oxytocin is responsible for our feelings of intimacy, caring, comfort, and emotional attachment. It is an anti-stress hormone that comforts and has a calming effect. It's also been linked to monogamous relationships. Interestingly, it counters the effect of prolactin and cortisol, and best of all, there's no drop in effectiveness as we promote it.
Hot Wax Play can be fun but it can be dangerous too. Do you think it’s erotic having a burning pool of wax in your most intimate parts, or trying to escape from rope bondage in a room filled with smoke and burning curtains, all because there wasn’t no basic safety requirements of Hot Wax Play? As ALWAYS, safety comes first in any kind of BDSM exploration.
Some advices before the Hot Wax Play
A thin film of mineral oil or even baby oil on any skin to be waxed makes removal much easier and can be a fun erotic piece of the scene in itself
Spread an old sheet or tarp over the play area, to protect your carpet or furniture
Bring a flat hard surface near to the play area to hold your candles, wax pots and other toys securely - this helps avoid spills (unwanted spills) and prevents accidents, like tipped-over candles, etc.
Put a romantic or edgy CD on continuous loop, so that you don't have to stop the scene to put in another piece of music. Once you are fully engaged with your partner in the erotic wax play scene, stopping abruptly can cause major 'sub drop'! (Sub drop is also known as submissive drop and can be extremely upsetting, emotionally)
Gather all your scene stuff before beginning play - wet washcloths or towels for instant cooling of wax, ice in a bowl, a mini-fire extinguisher you can purchase from any auto parts store, and anything else you can think of to keep your submissive and your home safe.
Cuffs, rope and ties to keep hands and feet out of the action and out of the way. Cuffs are great for ease of use but rope, tape and ties offer the most versatility and opportunities for different uses.
Spreader Bars
Bars to keep arms and legs spread apart and restrained for better immobilization and access. Use spreader bars to keep your sub in place, in a certain position or unable to walk.
Bedroom Bondage Toys
Great, high-quality bondage toys including beginner packages. Everyone should, at very least, own an Under the Bed Restraint System for tying down hands and feet without damaging the headboard of your bed.
Collars
Keep your pet in line with a collar for sex play, or even a public collar for every day wear. Collars are designed for punishment or for use with a leash as well as a necklace during the day.
Blindfolds
By removing sight from the equation, you can take your physical experience to the next level. Blindfolds are designed to bring you years and years of erotic play.
Take your kink to the next level with the hard steel and erotic submission of dungeon irons, from professional quality police handcuffs to modern takes on medieval torture devices.
Hoods and Muzzles
Remove sight, restrict air or just create an erotic look with hoods and muzzles. Some have mouth access for oral or others provide complete black-out experiences not available from traditional blindfolds. Very popular for people experimenting with breath play.
Suspension Equipment
Create a more intense experience by taking your partner a little bit or totally off the floor! From slings and swings to suspension bars, there is a huge variety of what you can do once you take it off the floor.
Armbinders
Keep arms immobile better using full-length arm binders.
Sleepsacks
Experience the security and erotic feel of having your entire body bound up with a sleep sack. Some are designed for complete encasement, some are designed to have access by a Dom to 'the good parts' and others are equipped for solo usage.
Straitjackets
Created to be nearly impossible to get out of, a straitjacket can be a frustrating and exciting addition to your toy collection. We have every type from basic medical to latex and everything in between.
Medical Restraints
Play doctor and take your bondage scene to the next level! Make sure to check out medical toys to get your scene down to the details.
