Before any flogging, the participants should negotiate what is desired and what isn’t, along with what “safeword” or other indication the “bottom” is to use to slowdown or stop the flogging. Does the “bottom” like stinging or thud sensations? How open is he or she to new experiences? Has this person had much experience with flogging? Novices may think they can take lots of pain, and then be surprised at what a good flogging actually feels like.
In addition, pertinent medical or physical problems should be made known before beginning.
Read more following this article: Flogging the Back
The face is a central sense organ complex.Keeping in mind the damage that could arise from being hit in the face, it might be helpful to remember the five senses: sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch/feel. Any of these could be affected by a blow to the facial area. In hitting, be aware that you could possibly detach a retina causing long-lasting or permanent eye damage, rupture an eardrum, break a nose, bust a lip or dislocate a jaw. The sweet spot is perfectly between the zygomatic bone, or high cheek bone, and the mandible, or jaw bone, where the fattier, sometimes thicker part of the face is.
As with anything, and especially in the lifestyle,
communication is so important. If repressed or otherwise hurtful feelings are
being brought to the surface due to being slapped in the face, by all means,
this would make for a key discussion topic with your dom/me or top. The line
between abuse and play is always consent and motive, and can sometimes end up
being as simple as interpretation. One slap can be seen as very different from
the last and can cause motives to be questioned and consent to be revoked, and
sometimes rightfully so. Having entered into your dynamic or scene as a
healthy-minded, consenting adult, you should trust your own judgment.
When addressing how to slap someone, there are numerous factors to take into consideration:
The target, the face wich is going to be slapped
Slapping with the fingers, palm or full open handed
Slapping with the finger apart or all together
Slapping with a flexible wrist or a stiffed arm
Give it with a wide roundhouse-style slap or a close-up slap
Much SM play and roleplay is based on “power exchange”, with one person taking the “dominant” role and the other the “submissive”. There are a wide variety of scenarios involving power dynamics – some examples are: master/slave, goddess/worshiper or sergeant/recruit.
Exerting aspects of mental or emotional control, even in role play, can be hurtful if not approached with care. When engaging in power play, it’s a good idea to agree upon time limits, and to find a ritual or signal such as collar or a special instruction to mark the giving of power, and to close the scene.
If you do not know how to anticipate and contain the interation or “roleplay” along certain paths, you may get more than you bargained for. Gender and personal history (such as prior physical or sexual abuse) are also factors to consider. Some people react negatively to personal humiliation, whereas being called a “slut” is acceptable and desired by other people. Negotiate your shared understanding carefully, and explore the possibility of resurfacing emotional traumas triggered by particular words, positions, vocal styles, etc.
No matter if you are a top or bottom, never be afraid to use your safeword is you find yourself in an undesirable situation. If you feel your situation is abusive, remember that no power arrangement or contract is binding when the relationship is no longer fulfilling.
Power play can be intensely positive for both partners when done with caution and communication. Avoid playing with power or head-games when you are depressed, tired, sick, or cranky. Never let real anger or shame enter into your erotic or punishment play.
Abuse is a pattern of behavior where one person tries to control the thoughts, beliefs, or actions of a partner, friend, or ant other person close to them. Abuse is sometimes referred to as domestic violence, battering, and intimate partner abuse.
Abuse is not hust an indvidual issue but a community issue. It affects all types of families and communities including S/M, traditional, straight, polyamorous, monogamous, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender communities. Abuse crosses all social, ethni, racial, and economic lines.
Abusers may use a number of ways to control their partner, none of which are acceptable in the context of a consensual, negotiated S/M relationship.
Negotiation to gain consent is one of the
cornerstones of SM activities. This requires an understanding of yourself and
your desires, and an understanding that these desires are mutable and may change
with your moods, stresses of your daily life/etc. Many people use extensive checklists
to negotiate their scenes. Others who are more clear about what they want and
have the ability to communicate clearly will be able to negotiate well without
such lists. Sit down with your parner(s) and discuss your desires and
interests. Then as an exercise, take some time to learn to say "no"
to certain requests. Being sex positive is not about saying yes all the time. Is
is also about saying "I'm bit interested," and having that heeded. Without
this fundamental basis of consent, SM activities can cross the line to abusive
behavior. Related articles: BDSM vs ABUSE? SCC: Safe, Sane and Consensual Power Play
