Doctor, does my boyfriend have a footfetish...?

People who have foot fetishes may experience them in different ways. Some people become aroused by looking at pictures or video of naked feet and may even masturbate to such images or otherwise incorporate them into their sex play.

Tweet

QUESTION:

He wants me to compare his feet to pictures of other men's feet and tell him how these men with bigger soles can please me more than he can. He also requested pictures of me with my feet on another guy's penis. Should I be concerned? I've tried doing research but can't find anything on this type of fetish.

(DOCTOR’s) ANSWER:
There’s not really such a thing as a “usual” foot fetish. No two Foot Fetishes are alike, here’s some of them:

• looking at pictures or video of naked feet and may even masturbate to such images or otherwise incorporate them into their sex play
• looking at people’s feet out in public, person may prefer men’s feet or women’s feet, or may prefer to see feet in certain types of shoes
• seeing women’s feet in certain types of sandals, but only if these women had well manicured and painted toenails
• taking care of women’s feet, he enjoyed pampering women’s feet, washing their feet, putting lotion on their feet and finally licking his partner’s feet
• calling strangers and asking them their shoe size.

Your BoyFriend
I think it’s pretty great that he feels comfortable enough to share information with you about his foot fetish. Not everyone feels comfortable sharing their sexual likes and dislikes with a partner. Perhaps he feels like he can open up to you without judgment.
That said, just because you don’t judge him doesn’t mean you have to do what he likes or wants to do. It’s up to you to decide what to do with the information he’s shared with you.
If you’re open to trying out his interests, it could be—at the very least—an interesting and new experience for you.
And, if it works out, it could be an experience that brings you closer to each other if you two feel like you’re able to be vulnerable with one another and indulge each other’s desires and interests.
Of course, it’s up to you to share your own desires and interests with him and to ask him to try things—in or out of the bedroom—that interest you, too.
I say in or out of the bedroom because while some people very much want their partner to try something new sexually with them (for example, how your boyfriend wants you to participate in his foot fetish), other people want non-sexual things from their partner.
Maybe you want something sexual from him or maybe what you want is for him to spend more time at home, to watch independent movies with you, to sign up for tango classes, or to learn a new language together.
The point is that you two should feel encouraged to share your sexual and non-sexual lives together in ways that feel good.

TALK TO HIM
Of course, you’ll also need to decide what to do about this other guy that he wants you to interact with as part of his interests.
Who is this guy? Is it someone you know? Do you want to be sexual with another man? Do you want to put your foot on another man’s penis?And, if so, do you want photographic proof of this?
Or would there be some other way to satisfy his desires, such as by telling stories about such a scenario or drawing pictures of it or looking up videos or pictures of other people who have done such things?
These are conversations for you and your partner to have as you figure out what you two are and are not into.

Face slapping: What about it?

A traditional technique in Thailand is said to erase wrinkles, shrink pores, and tighten the skin without surgery, instead use slapping and kneading.

Tweet

The face is a central sense organ complex.Keeping in mind the damage that could arise from being hit in the face, it might be helpful to remember the five senses: sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch/feel. Any of these could be affected by a blow to the facial area. In hitting, be aware that you could possibly detach a retina causing long-lasting or permanent eye damage, rupture an eardrum, break a nose, bust a lip or dislocate a jaw. The sweet spot is perfectly between the zygomatic bone, or high cheek bone, and the mandible, or jaw bone, where the fattier, sometimes thicker part of the face is.

Tweet

Safe, Sane and Consensual

As with anything, and especially in the lifestyle, communication is so important. If repressed or otherwise hurtful feelings are being brought to the surface due to being slapped in the face, by all means, this would make for a key discussion topic with your dom/me or top. The line between abuse and play is always consent and motive, and can sometimes end up being as simple as interpretation. One slap can be seen as very different from the last and can cause motives to be questioned and consent to be revoked, and sometimes rightfully so. Having entered into your dynamic or scene as a healthy-minded, consenting adult, you should trust your own judgment.

When addressing how to slap someone, there are numerous factors to take into consideration:

• The target, the face wich is going to be slapped
• Slapping with the fingers, palm or full open handed
• Slapping with the finger apart or all together
• Slapping with a flexible wrist or a stiffed arm
• Give it with a wide roundhouse-style slap or a close-up slap
• Give it backhanding
• Give it from behind

Have FUN ;)

Slap Dwarf/Goliath

Tweet

Related articles:
SCC: Safe, Sane and Consensual
Negotiation in S/M relationship
BDSM vs ABUSE

How to have strap-on sex with a male partner

Tweet

It’s great that more and more men and their partners are discovering how much fun anal play and prostate pleasure can be! If you’re thinking about getting started, we have some tips for things to consider.

When trying anal play for the first time, some men and their partners dive right in, enjoying it right from the start. If your first experience is full of fireworks, great! But if not, don’t worry about it. Anal play often feels very different than other kinds of sex and it can take a few times to find what works for you.

It may work better for you if you take it nice and slow, without rushing to get to the “good stuff.” The pelvic muscles sometimes hold a lot of tension, especially if he’s nervous, so give him some time to relax into it. Remember -- anal play is about letting the anus relax, rather than forcing it to stretch.

Some people like to use strap-on harnesses as part of power play. Or perhaps you’re interested in role play or playing with gender. But other people use them simply to provide hands-free dildo use, which keeps your hands available for other things. Whatever your desires and fantasies, there are plenty of ways you can enjoy your strap-on.

You may find that his erection gets softer with anal penetration. That’s quite common since the pelvic floor muscles need to relax to allow your finger or your toy to slip inside. Don’t take it as a sign that he’s not enjoying himself. Feel free to check in and ask him how he’s doing. Remember -- this is about both of you having fun, so take some time to figure out what works for both of you!

Ponyplay basic training

Tweet

Before starting any training, or any ponyplay activity for that matter, you should always make sure that your pony's tack fits well. It should all fit snugly since loose tack can chafe, or come out of place and trip or otherwise hurt the pony during play. However, the pony's tack should not be excessively tight especially if you are planning on an extended ponyplay session.

There are four ponyplay basic training topics:

• leading the human pony
• tying your pony
• cross tying a human pony
• grooming your pony

After reading this article read these ones

Leading the pony

Tying Your pony
Cross tie Your pony

D/s: slave positions for communication

Tweet

Ongoing dominant/submissive relationships are often steeped in protocol and ritual, slave positions fall into the ritual portion of this. Rituals are about symbolism, they are used as a form of communication, when a slave kneels before their dominant, that has a great meaning.

Generally a dominant will establish several positions for their slave to learn and use, they are useful for effectively managing the slave. The slave positions are used to enable the slave to better serve, obey and please their dominant.

Dominants often overlook the usefulness of slave positions in the managing of the slave’s actions and making life easier and simpler. With one word or hand gesture a dominant places a slave in a position that is useful and/or pleasing to them and reduces the amount of instructions that are needed to direct their actions.

Why becoming a Mistress?

Tweet

For who have already tasted the heady wine of total control over a submissive male, this question may seem absurd. The answer is so obvious: being a Mistress is fun.
Female Dominance offers the Mistress a cornucopia of delights. The submissive male enjoys it too, although there are moments in scene when he may not seem to do so. But why should a woman enjoy forcing her beloved husband into a humiliating costume of corset, high heels, and ruffled sissy panties? What would make a man, often a powerful, highly paid professional, gladly submit to a severe spanking while so attired? What is so much fun about playing power games?
The reasons generally fall into three categories. First, the joy of escape into a fantasy world. Second, the sheer sensual delight of the costumes, the risk, and the physical stimulation. Third, the bliss of sharing the deepest possible intimacy and trust with another human being.

Power Play

Tweet

Much SM play and roleplay is based on “power exchange”, with one person taking the “dominant” role and the other the “submissive”. There are a wide variety of scenarios involving power dynamics – some examples are: master/slave, goddess/worshiper or sergeant/recruit.
Exerting aspects of mental or emotional control, even in role play, can be hurtful if not approached with care. When engaging in power play, it’s a good idea to agree upon time limits, and to find a ritual or signal such as collar or a special instruction to mark the giving of power, and to close the scene.
If you do not know how to anticipate and contain the interation or “roleplay” along certain paths, you may get more than you bargained for. Gender and personal history (such as prior physical or sexual abuse) are also factors to consider. Some people react negatively to personal humiliation, whereas being called a “slut” is acceptable and desired by other people. Negotiate your shared understanding carefully, and explore the possibility of resurfacing emotional traumas triggered by particular words, positions, vocal styles, etc.
No matter if you are a top or bottom, never be afraid to use your safeword is you find yourself in an undesirable situation. If you feel your situation is abusive, remember that no power arrangement or contract is binding when the relationship is no longer fulfilling.

Power play can be intensely positive for both partners when done with caution and communication. Avoid playing with power or head-games when you are depressed, tired, sick, or cranky. Never let real anger or shame enter into your erotic or punishment play.

Related articles:
SCC: Safe, Sane and Consensual
Negotiation in S/M relationship
BDSM vs ABUSE